by Patricia Pitta, Ph.D., A.B.P.P.
Jobs Vacancy, Employment, Employment Jobs
I can get through the meeting, but feel tortured and conflicted inside. I feel these things even though it is not apparent to people around me. This gets in my way of being more effective and efficient as a businesswoman. What can I do?
It appears that although you are under much stress, but you are managing your situation effectively to the point that your symptoms are not apparent to your co-workers. That is quite an accomplishment.
To further increase your effectiveness, ask yourself the question? "Who are you turning the people who attend your meetings into?" Are you turning them into your critical parents, teachers by imagining that they will be critical of you? Or are you equating this meeting with another emotionally negative experience in your life?
Allow yourself to think about these situations seriously for a few minutes and you will probably find several responses. Write them down. Now, let's make you the best mentor and parent for yourself!
Look at the situations from the past and tell yourself how people who want to build your self esteem and confidence could have responded to you. Write these responses down and repeat these positive statements.
With these thoughts in mind, try to bring yourself to deal with speaking situations a little at a time. Perhaps it would be helpful to take a speaking class, where you can gradually expose yourself to speaking experiences without the pressure of performing in front of people you know.
Toastmasters Assists Those With A Fear Of Public Speaking
Toastmasters is an excellent example of such a class. They are found in many cities nationwide. Furthermore, they are very inexpensive, averaging less than $50 for a full year's membership.
If you gradually expose yourself to increasingly more difficult speaking experiences over time, your anxiety will decrease and you'll perform more effectively. You will begin recognizing that your internal messages will have changed, from expecting critical reactions to expecting positive, accepting reactions.
Your self-image will have changed from one of reacting as the child you had once been, to the adult you truly can be today with a little practice in a safe environment. You will transition from a fear of public speaking into a person who easily performs in front of others.
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